Planet Zepton

I have been a little dissapointed that no one reads or comments on my blog, so I haen't been writng much. That's no excuse. A journal is meant to be for the Self-to reflect upon one's life. Why do I even feel it is necessary for others to see this? I must write on, for the sake of the Zeptonians!

Hey, Is there anybody out there?

It's been so long since I've written in here I think I've had seven lifetimes of power and passion! So, what do I want to think about aloud today? How about the fact that there's a giant fireball burning above us everyday of our lives and no one seems to ever mention the fact. I mean, they talk about the Sun occasionally, but the fact that it is a fireball-I think not! So why don't we think it is anything special? Why do some of us often think life isn't very special? It's because we lose our way on the path. It's also because we take life for granted. It's all we've ever known so you can see the amazing paradox in not recognising the fact everyday that there's a magical, mysterious fireball above us (that our planet revolves around). All these different religions exist-but why not just simply worship the power that is the fireball in the sky? We've tried to go too complex-we need to simplify...We are made of the same energy as giant fireballs in the sky-pretty cool-every single one of us lives under the same force of light and heat-doesn't that minimise imagined differences between races and cultures? We gotta wake up and smell the breeze...

Still here...I've come a long way in realising my problems and overcoming them. But, the further I go forward, the more hidden imperfections get exposed to the surface. It seems life will always be about finding solutions for our faults and working on them. For now, I will realise that all things pass, everything happens for a reason, and "I think I can" is the motto to have.

It's hard to love oneself, but what is more important? The love of the Great Spirit. Asking for help is the key to giving the best of yourself each day. I just want to help others and get to know what it really feels like to love someone. Not family, or friends...a different type of intimate connection. Society seems obsessed with this type of love on T.V.-How many of us truly believe we can make it a reality in our lives? Hope, dreams, love and peace-these are the keys to making it there. Lets make it to that special place-it's not just a dream-it won't be all smiles-but the love will be the ultimate form of living. Am I a hopeless romantic? Am I a hopefull romantic?

Love is the dream-gotta go for it-starting with myself and the Big Cheese-HP.

Life is the most amazing thing imaginable. It's so paradoxically ironic that we can lose sight of this fact so easily when things get tough in our lives. We focus so much on are perceived problems that we forget the magical existance that we are part of. Lately I've had a really hard time, and for once I've finally asked for help from the higher power and from people around me. I really feel like angels have been listening to my prayers as many mystical occurances and oppuryunities have crossed my path.

Lately and for the first time in my life I've been dating a young lady and actually felt really good about are connection. However, because of certain actions that I've done in this friendship(due to the fact that I have a anxiety/depression disorder as well as recovering from sex addiction) the last time I was with her she denied me a kiss. This affected me greatly to say the least, but I do feel it was destiny.

On the last day when we were together she showed me a necklace she'd made with some Tiger's Eye crystals in it. I then showed her the Tiger's Eye that I carry with me at all times. She has ther most exquisite eyes-they are nearly black-really striking. I was in the library looking for Young Adult books for an assignment and I came accross a book called "Tiger Eyes" by Judy Blume. I had to read it. During the story the main character( a young lady named Tiger Eyes mentioned 2 lines in Spanish. The girl I know speaks Spanish, so I sent her the 2 lines in an email. One means,"Life is a great adventure." The other means"I'll see you when the lizard's run." I sent these lines because Ireally didn't know if I'd have the courage to see her again after all this pain.

Today on a walk with my sister who hasn't been to town in 1 and a half years we were a walking around a lake. A huge Water Dragon lizard ran out in front of us! I truly believe now that I'm giving over to the Greater Spirit, the angels are helping me on my life's journey. I believe these 'coincidences' are destined. We'll see what happens when I call up the girl tonight...I prayed that we would get to know each other better.

My favourite song when I was a kid was 'Eye of the Tiger', a song about courage of the soul. I heard it on the radio the other night. Sometimes we can feel so connected and in love with life. I really need to choose this love more instead of fear, but I reckon we'll always be making mistakes...Hope, peace and love are good ideas to believe in and try to manifest in our lives-just got to focus and practice-so I can give to others while I'm here and don't always think of my problems. :)

Sometimes we feel alone in the world. We have to remember that there's two main forces to go to when all seems lost. The Great Spirit, and yourself. The strange paradox is the idea that these two forces might be found in the same location-within. We really have to learn to love and accept ourselves for who we are with all of our faults and imperfections. This is also an imperative in accepting others, and loving others.

It is interesting when we think about what is truly valuable in one's life. In this modern society money and material possessions are what people seem to work hard for every day. But, if you had to decide over a new car or house and the loss of a loved family member, which shall you choose? I'm also starting to learn a little about intimate love with a partner, I've been a very slow learner. It takes alot of courage and trust to put your heart out there in hope of meeting and connecting with someone else. I mean, when do you know if the relationship is headed for real love? I think those who have this sort of companionship probably value it more than any material comfort. Money surely doesn't make us happy, happiness is a quest of internal and external searching. Karma dictates that if you are a good person, good shall return to you. I think I need to learn to have more faith in the destined occurance of events, and realise that all mistakes and obstacles are there to help us on our way. It sure is hard to see sometimes, especially in the heart of a depression stage, but -that stage always has to leave one day-every feeling in life is transitory...But what about the idea of enlightened happiness-maybe this is a feeling that endures even in the hardest of times? Value: Nothing is more valuable than love, peace, gratitude, and the happiness found in the knowledge that we are part of Something-Something that is greater than we know-the Universe :)

Life sure is a strange thing indeed. Sometimes one feels so connected to things, but still the Universe wiil always surprise you . I just read a book called the 'Celestine Prophecy' and it mentions 9 insights into how humanity will reach a higher form of consciousness. The first insight is about 'coincidences'. These are moments that actually have a message for us to see and then use to further our knowledge about life and ourselves. When you feel connected to the magic, loving, and beautiful energy of Nature it seems these messages are much more obvious than when we are preoccupied with the everyday tasks of our lives. It is really amazing when you think about a person or event and then moments later the event occurs, or the poerson crosses your path. The last 2 days have been this way for me. The Great Spirit never ceases to amaze me in how time and space and its oppurtunities unfold. We are truly part of an incredible power. If we can connect with this energy more often, our true self will emerge from underneath the depths of our control dramas which we learn to defend ourselves as children. Then our connections with people, animals, plants will be made of love and not based on codependent, addictive attatchments. Interesting things to think about eh!

What kind of blogger blogs so rarely...A blogger who's like a logger with no trees to chop down-lucky trees! I think if this blog had the option for outside comments, I'd probably be more keen to share my thoughts...Right now it feels like I'm sharing with no one but the Great Spirit of the Universe-Well, I guess that should be good enough...The Universe is quite big...:)

Do you ever feel like life is really hard? Then you stay strong and have faith and everything goes O.K. It makes you feel good to have the 'eye of the tiger' sometimes...thet special feeling that no matter how hard it gets-you're not going to give up. It's cool when you see that tough look in a fellow human-you know they too are doing their best to help the world and to be happy.